disclaimer:
everything that is written in this blog may or may not be true.
events could take place in real life, in the writer's head or real events that are modified as the writer sees fit to awaken readers' emotion
What if you slept
And what if in your sleep you dreamed
And what if in your dream you went to heaven
And there plucked a strange and beautiful flower
And what if
When you awoke
You had that flower in you hand
Ah, what then?
A lover knows only humility, he has no choice.
He steals into your alley at night, he has no choice.
He longs to kiss every lock of your hair, don't fret,
he has no choice.
In his frenzied love for you, he longs to break the chains of his imprisonment,
he has no choice.
A lover asked his beloved:
Do you love yourself more than you love me?
Beloved replied: I have died to myself and I live for you.
I've disappeared from myself and my attributes,
I am present only for you.
I've forgotten all my learnings,
but from knowing you I've become a scholar.
I've lost all my strength, but from your power I am able.
I love myself...I love you.
I love you...I love myself.
I am your lover, come to my side,
I will open the gate to your love.
Come settle with me, let us be neighbours to the stars.
You have been hiding so long, endlessly drifting in the sea of my love.
Even so, you have always been connected to me.
Concealed, revealed, in the unknown, in the un-manifest.
I am life itself.
You have been a prisoner of a little pond,
I am the ocean and its turbulent flood.
Come merge with me,
leave this world of ignorance.
Be with me, I will open the gate to your love.
I desire you more than food or drink
My body my senses my mind hunger for your taste
I can sense your presence in my heart
although you belong to all the world
I wait with silent passïon for one gesture one glance
from you.
when you feeling down when you feel you need to get away you can just fly away.... - jean claude ades -
why is it that all dance/trance/house music (not exclusive to the one i quoted above) always have a hint of sadness or loneliness in it? is it because when you dance you're all to yourself... or trying to get away from something that makes you sad? i dont know i dont know...
| Currently listening to: Third Eye blind - Jumper |
everytime i buy something expensive and extravagant for myself and later regretting it, i'd spend the same amount of money to buy something for my family (to get me feel less guilty)... most of the time without them even noticing it.
| Currently listening to: Jazzanova - Bohemian Sunset |
-- hey, do you think i can ask my money back from a credit card company? ++ what do you mean asking your money back? -- well, i kinda overpaid my credit card bill? ++ how?? -- you know how sensitive zero button is on atm machines? well, yea, i kinda... accidentally, punched it too many times. ++ like how many times? -- like you don't want to know. ++ how much did you overpay your credit card bill? -- um... like 18,000 dollars. ++ hahaha, i think they're just gonna think that you're paying your bill in advance. but seriously, i don't know. maybe you can borrow money from them, you know how credit card companies loan money to their credit card holders, right? just take 18K from it. -- but wouldn't that be count as that, tho? as a loan? and they're going to give me interest. interest for borrowing my own money. ++ right. hmmm. i don't know then.
| Currently listening to: Groove Bandits - Dancing in the Rain |
i remember this short conversation from long ago... scenes, occurrences and characters have been somewhat altered to improve the excitement of the story. how are you, my dear "liz"? hope you're doing great up there :)
it was a chilly winter day in new york, my friends and i; david, liz, corry and kim, the regular crowd, were hanging-out at a cafe on the 5th avenue. we just had our regular weekend shopping drill. we were talking about how kim just gave her number out to a guy she met at barnes & nobles, who turns out to be her long-time friend and kim's long-term memory just couldn't reach that far back.
she says, "i don't seem to recall having a friend named stephen back in high school, but hell he's hot. now come to think of it, i think i did have a friend named stephen back then… hahaha". the laughter from our table could be heard all the way to the end of the cafe's counter. kim was saying how she wanted the sunglasses she saw on the way here, and dave being too-supportive as always, kept encouraging her to buy the sunglasses and put them on her credit card. the next thing we know, they stormed-out ofthe cafe and on their way to get those sunglasses. liz, corry and i were like, "geez they better control themselves the next time we go out shopping." after waited for them for too damn long corry decided to have a cigarette, i was going to go and have one myself too but i decided not to, it was just too damn cold out there.
liz and i were the only two left in there.
"hey yod", she said softly with a serious look. "i've got something to tell you but promise me that you won't tell anyone." "ok, what is it? you're scaring me". she wasn't even smiling; she still got that serious look on her face. "omg, you are not having a crush on me, are you?" she shook her head, "don't be ridiculous." a long pause, and she says "yod, i'm pregnant." i was speechless for a minute, "it's roberts isn't…" i wasn't quite finish with my sentence when she said, "no, not him, it's someone else from back home. i'm done with my unclear relationship with bob."
i smiled and said "knew it, girl. i might be stupid but i'm not blind. i know you're not a heavy smoker but i haven't seen you smoking a single cig for the past 3 weeks and the 'cranberry on the rock' you had last weekend at the bar, just wasn't you. so, how…"
again, like she was reading my mind she didn't let me finish my question and says, "about six weeks, i was late last month and i took the pregnancy test thing and it was positive."
"liz, you know they're going to find out about this sooner or later, how are you going to tell them?"
"i don't know, but i'm not going to tell them now, not next week, and maybe not the week after… i just needed to share this with someone right now and you're the only friend i trust the most. thanks, i feel a lot better now.
i won't quit school though with only a couple of semesters to go, i'm still going to graduate next year."
i had tears coming out of my eyes, i wasn't sad because of her unwanted pregnancy, well maybe i was a bit, but it was more like happy tears. i'm happy that she has chosen me to be the friend she trusts the most to share a sensitive issue like this.
we've been sharing secrets since God knows when and we've been each others' back bones for years, and i just know that from there on out, our relationship is going to last forever.
so, what's the moral of the story you might ask? live your life to the fullest and don't let anything drags you away from your dream… because shit happens but life must go on!
| Currently listening to: Cafe Americaine - L'amour |
my brother's conversation with an adult.
adult: so, what do you study there? bro: anthropology. adult: aaahhhh, anthropology. isn't that a study about.... oil? bro: nooott really... no. adult: oh, yes. about human bones, yea? bro: eerrr... it's actually a study about human's reaction when hearing the very word itself. adult: [mouth open wide]
